The friend that used to sign...

I am not sure what I am supposed to feel about the experience that I had today...

I was on-line on the particular site when I got a message from my friend that I used to be neighbor when I was living in Salt Lake City few years ago. He was a good looking young man. He signed beautifully and very smart. He have master in social work when he is only a year older than me. Anyway, he told me to come over to his place to catch on news. So, I drove up to Salt Lake City and showed up at his door. I immediately knew that there is something wrong with him when I saw him. His eyes was bouncing all over in its sockets. He kept breathing rapidly and shaking. I asked him if he's okay and he continued to insist that he is okay. I barely couldn't understand him even I am using the program that ensure that I understand everybody clearly. He was speaking incoherently. I know there is nothing wrong with my CI because I can hear and understand the program on TV clearly. He told me that he haven't had slept in 3 days. The alarm went off in my head because of possible drug uses.
We chatted for while but I kept cannot understand him very well. I told him to sign and he tried but he couldn't sign that well. He apologizes nonstop. I was shocked and sad because we used to sign nonstop because he took three years of sign language in college.
I decided to excuse myself to use bathroom and when I entered the bathroom, I could smell something burnt but very familiar. I tried to figure out what I was smelling. Then the idea of meth came up in my mind because when I was in drug class in college, we were to become familiar with sights, smells and feeling of all drugs.. (You couldn't believe that we was tested on it) I decided to snoop around and found some bent spoon, needles, lighter, and other things that are obviously used for the drug. I came out and sat by him and asked him directly if he is using meth or any drugs. He denied at the first but he later admitted that he is the user. I was very sad and upset that he decided to throw his life down the drain.
I told him that I need to go and to keep in touch. I left and sat in the car with music blaring. Mary J. Blige was playing and the tears was rolling down my face.

I didn't know if I should be upset with him or the drug... I don't know who he is anymore and his skills as social worker and skilled signer is down in the toilet for good or not. Who knows...